Something's cooking and it's not the (broken) microwave
by whenallthegoodnamesaregone
Summary: In which John says 'No experiments' and Sherlock hears "Friends make good volunteers" (might be a two part smut thing, hence the rating)


Possibly the last of the prompt-a-thon (for now) and this may branch off into more chapters (WHEN I HAVE THE TIME! *cries*)  
Another quick apology to my loyal readers of i am smut locked and my red pants monday series, they will be updated soon but I'm suffering from writer's block (hence all the one-shots and ficlets)  
Prompt details at the end...

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"Sherlock!" John called as he made his way up the stairs of their flat, the man had been trying to get hold of Sherlock for a while now but oddly enough the ridiculous man hadn't been answering his phone.

"I'm busy John!" Was the reply he got as he walked into the living room, okay so the man was still alive at least.

The doctor could hear an odd amount of banging and clanging coming from the kitchen and as he cautiously made his way through the rubbish of which was their flat he could now see the detective. He was in pretty much the same state that John had left him in this morning, his clothes not having changed from his nightwear and his hair still bedraggled from sleep.

"Do you ever do anything when I'm out?" he stopped at the end of the table, studying the other man as he had his head inside their microwave. A cool and almost bitchy voice replied to him.

"Oh please John, obviously, what do you think I'm doing now? Sleeping?"

"Well it would be peculiar enough for you…and what are you doing by the way?" Watson narrowed his eyes as Sherlock's face appeared once more, he had a smear of grease on his cheek and was wearing goggles. Now if John was correct, Sherlock only wore goggles if he was about to…

"Oh no." He interrupted himself "You're not going to-Sherlock!" but by this time the man had just smiled at John as he retrieved a match from the side, lit it and callously threw it into the microwave.

John acted immediately as the machine caught fire, finding the closest thing to him (a tea towel) and dousing the flame with it. He whirled on Sherlock.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?! What the hell was that for!?" He spat, pointing furiously at the microwave, "No actually, actually Sherlock, I don't want to know but what I do know is that there shall be no more experiments in this house anymore!"

Sherlock's expression crumpled slightly and he looked like an embarrassed child after being told off.

"You can't just—"

"No Sherlock, yes I can, no more experiments on items, not for a week!"

Sherlock expression turned to that of a cool, calculating one.

"Okay, fine"

"Right, good…wait what?" The doctor was taken aback, had Sherlock just _agreed_ to having no experiments in the flat for a week?

"I said fine, no experiments on items in the flat for a week, yes?" He took a set closer but John thought nothing of it and instead continued to work Sherlock's odd submission through his mind.

"Yes, yes for a week…just…"

"Just what?" A raise of the eyebrow and another step forwards, this time John noticed and narrowed his eyes, taking a step back.

"I just didn't think you would comply this easily that's all." John took another step back just as Sherlock progressed in his, a small smirk was plastered onto the sleuth's face and it was doing a great job of making John uneasy.

"Oh no John, you misunderstand. No experimenting on _items_ in the flat for a week…" Sherlock seemed to wait for the penny to drop and drop it did, into the cold pit of John's stomach.

"Oh god, you don't mean…"

"I'm sure items don't count as _humans_, am I right?" Another step forwards, another step back.

"Oh, no Sherlock, no…" John looked around quickly for an exit but obviously not quickly enough as when the doctor's head was turned Sherlock took this as his chance to pounce. And pounce he did.

John had never considered Sherlock to be a heavy man going by his build but when your collided with him it does half knock you back, it sent John (a shorter man than Sherlock) hurtling to the floor in fact.

The impact of the floor made John's head spin and his eyes could only just makes out the blurry figure of definite Holmes breed above him. Sherlock had straddled over John and John was starting to think that he didn't realise the sexual imagery in the position as he was quite naturally inspecting John as if he wasn't sat on his crotch.

"You know I have been in need for a new body to inspect, the ones at the more are all a bit…dead, you know?" He grinned down at John and John didn't really have the heart to fight him off, he did look very amused and he doubted that he would see him like this again.

Also it's not like this was a bad angle to be at and it was anything but uncomfortable to have someone's arse nestling quite nicely in your crotch, but John wasn't about to admit that to Sherlock, oh god no.

"Are you serious about this?" John croaked, his mouth having gone apparently dry, Sherlock narrowed his eyes, obviously noting the lack of salvia.

"Your mouth's dry, correct?"

"Look, that's not important, what are you 'experimenting' anyhow, I think I have a right to know." John couldn't help the fact that he sounded breathless, but he doubted anyone wouldn't be breathless under that deductive glare.

Sherlock smirked at this and shifted his weight so deliberately that John was starting to think that Sherlock knew exactly what that position could be used for. John choked slightly as Sherlock ground down in a way that could come off as accidental and leaned down until his hot breath was against John's ear.

"I want to experiment to amount of time it takes for one to become aroused under minimal stimulation, care to volunteer?" And despite himself, John could hear himself whisper hoarsely,

"Oh god yes."

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Prompted by astudyinrose on tumblr who has recently prompted me to continue this, her original prompt was;  
"After Sherlock destroys the microwave in an experiment, John forbids him to experiment in the flat for a week. Strangely, Sherlock agrees- and then decides to experiment on John instead"  
Please comment! Because I'm a comment slut, give me the pure stuff, I pay good money *le seductive wink, trip and fall...my specialty*


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